The Irish are well-known for their love of bawdy jokes. Who loves not women, wine, and song, he will be a fool his whole life long. Here's to those who have seen us at our worst and still showed up here anyway. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I drank to your health so many times I nearly ruined my own. The hope of a childlike heart to you. Privacy Policy. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Bedroom Party Literature, not originally listed as a toast; This is known as 5. And trusting in Him, to Whom we all pray; May a song fill your heart, every step of the way. "May we generally be happy, generally be witty, generally be honest, but above all always be interesting.". To our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet. If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and drink myself up. 22. 79.) l. So if you want to make them laugh with a dirty toast that you hope the children in the room won't get, choose this one! Before we raise our glasses to the happy couple, Id like to make a toast to wives and lovers everywhere may they never, ever cross paths! Here's to them for fucking us over,and here's to us for never being sober! When you feel like crap from drinking wine, its called the grape depression. May you never meet her daughter, Miss Fortune. 7.) May the road rise to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. drink to the liberation of women and bigger and better orgasms. Heres to women. Its better to be a well-known drunk than an anonymous alcoholic. 13. Thank you for buying us all dinner today. 5. Dance like nobodys watching. 26. 40.) 8. Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking. 27.) Women may have many faults, men have only two. 92.) Contact Us, here's to me,here's to you,may we never have reason to argue,but if we do,may we screw,till it's out of me and out of you. "I can smell wine, Father," said the Garda. And to make an end is to make a beginning. Fuc-King! This maybe the last time We see this cup. Now that you know, here are some funny drinking toast ideas you haven't heard: 1. I drank to your health in the company, I drank to your health alone, I drank to your health so many times, I nearly ruined my own. And if you drink, may you drink with me. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand. Look at it as halfway to your next beer. The cheer and good will of friends to you. Hopefully, you wont be too drunk to remember these drinking toasts when it matters. To our health: May we all live to be as old as my jokes. But a whiskey glass and a fat girls ass are home, sweet home to me. Coincidence?" - Stephen Wright "I followed my heart & It led me to ALCOHOL." Toasts Quotes. Whats the only drink size they allow in North Korea? 42.) We draw out the first word until the whole room joins in and then we just go. The classic with me and my friends is "Cheers to beers thank god we ain't queers." 17.) Thus, let us drink beer!Martin Luther, My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin. And love is good, and life is long, and friends are best together. The second is for nourishment. 10. 27. May you always have love in your hearts and champagne in your belly. 10. A supreme liter. The love of the Son and. Happy birthday. May God protect us, may God turn the hearts of our enemies, and if he cant turn their hearts, turn their ankles so we can tell who they are from the limp. The glass is brim. He's a good person. Spilling a beer is the adult equivalent of losing a balloon. And if you fight, may you fight for a brother. 63.) The two secrets to a long-lasting marriage are a good sense of humor and a short memory. Down the hatch! Learn more about Box of Puns. Never look at your beer as half empty. 16. JOGOS DE HOJE. 11. Be the life of the party with these funny drinking jokes and one-liners. Heres to Dame Fortune; may she smile upon you. 7. Whats the difference between men and pigs? Heres to the man who is wisest and best Heres to the man who with judgment is the best, And, heres to the man whos as smart as can be I drink to the man who agrees with me! "To your very good health. So she gets a divorce. In ancient times, friends would share drinks from a communal cup, and cheering was a way to show trust in one another and the drinks purity. Drinking All The glasses Off The Table My friends are the best friends. (Hunter S. Thompson). Beer nuts are $1.75, but deer nuts are under a buck. Heres to champagne for our real friends, and real pain to our sham friends. 85.) Tequila is a good drink: you drink it and you feel like a cactus; the only problem is that in the morning the thorns grow inward. Heres to doing and drinking, not sitting and thinking. What is the definition of a balanced diet? Heres to all the days that end in Y. Poems are hard. A neutron walks into a bar and asks, how much for a beer? The bartender replies, for you? You can entertain everyone while being witty and thoughtful. Four blessings upon you. May the roof over your head be always strong. Here's to a man after my own heart. Not the heat that brings down barns and shanties, but the heat that brings down bras and panties. Here's to champagne for our real friends, and a real pain to our sham friends. Heres to health and prosperity, to you and all your posterity. Pigs dont turn into men when they drink. Happy Birthday. 28.) 1. Athbhliain faoi mhaise duit! Heres to those who wish us well, all the rest can go to hell. 9. To your genitalia: May they never fail ya, or jail ya. Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking. Heres to a long life and a merry one, A quick ending and a happy one, A good girl and a pretty one, A cold bottle and another one. Lets get wasted all the time and have the time of our life. May all your troubles during the coming year be as short as your New Year's resolutions. Here's to the New Year and the new friends who will join us. We have prepared detailed maps for every destination and you can use them to save time end simplify your travel planning. 2. May we live to learn well and learn to live well. Tomorrow is the first page of a new book. To every lovable girl in the land, I offer this little libation. 15 Irish drinking toasts "May you have all the happiness and luck that life can hold, and at the end of your rainbows, may you find a pot of gold." "Here's to the land of the shamrock so green. If you steal, may you steal a woman's heart. heres to you, heres to me, fuck the rest, . My friends are the best friends Loyal, willing, and able. Here's to you. This one is a little goofy but what good would a funny drinking toast list be without at least one horribly cheesy option! 9. Heres to the three rings of marriage, the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. Some ships are wooden ships, but those ships may sink. I drank to your health in company. When I meet them, I like them. Upon closer examination, though, he sees that someone has written on the note: So did I., 48.) But the oceans not beer and Im not a duck, so lets drink these pints and get messed up. Best Inappropriate Toasts Ever Cheers to beers and legs behind your ears. 6. I dont! but just for you, I will.. Here's to doing and drinking, not sitting and thinking. Let us have wine and women Mirth and laughter Sermons and soda-water The day after. 64.) 21.) All glasses off the table! "May you live as . Tipsi's Bar Guide], [1948ca. Pain makes you stronger. Heres to love for which there is no cure except to marry. 46.) Enjoy!About us. Let's get wasted all the time and have the time of our life. Congratulations, buddy! To the kisses weve snatched, and vice versa. May the winds of fortune sail you, May you sail a gentle sea, may it always be the other guy who says: This drinks on me., Heres to the girls who do And heres to the girls who dont And heres to the girls who say they never will, But when the time comes, wont. 31.) Now that's an oxymoron." Aaron Howard "If life gives you lemons, Add VODKA." Unknown 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Humorous birthday toasts and funny sayings give us a chance to laugh at the trials and tribulations of maturity. Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking. One cigarette shortens your life by two hours, one bottle of vodka by three hours, and a workday eight hours. 14. To prosperity! 89.) When we get drunk, we fall asleep. Cop: Have you been out drinking?Me: Uh yeah, Im 28, Ive been out drinking literally hundreds of times.. Heres to the land of the shamrock so green, And heres to each lad and his darlin'Colleen, Heres to the ones we love dearest and most. May we get to Heaven, a full half-hour before the devil knows yer dead. Now lets get to drinking! Heres to you, Heres to me, Fuck the rest, AEKDB. Everyone else: . Son, when I was your age there was no social media. 2023 Box of Puns. This Irish toast is perfect for you if you are an honest fellow. 72.) Heres to being naughty and saving Santa a trip. Heres to the women who have used and abused us. Heres to swimmin with bowlegged women. I drank to your health in company. 77.) below:Here's to me. 13. All glasses off the table! We asked Atlas . Luckily, I woke up, and I see that the world is just as it should be. It said, You drink too much.. Now we compare statins. To keep a marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, when you are wrong admit it, and when you are right, shut up! The priest looks from the bottle to the heavens. BloonWars 10 yr. ago. 1.) Today, take time to relax and enjoy your day because you deserve it! 8. May the very best of your past being the very worst of your future. 38. An epidemiologist, a scientist and a doctor walk into a barJust kidding, they know better. Its ok if you sometimes find no better reasons for drinking. Thats all for now, I gotta pee. Heres to our wives and girlfriends may they never meet! To hell: May the stay there be as fun as the way there. May life last as long as it is worth wearing. Cookie Notice Toasts for Women. Roses are red, violets are blue. May she smile upon you. May we get what we want, what we need, and never what we deserve. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. 2. Running From The Devil May your glass be ever full. But I know the test of Gods goodness is when he gave me a friend like you. Oct 4, 2020 - Explore Nathaniel G's board "military toasts" on Pinterest. May you live for as long as you want, and never want for as long as you live! 69.) Life's a waste of time and time's a waste of life. My friend fell asleep in the bar, so I poured my ale on him to wake him up. Life always offers you a second chance It's called tomorrow. However, suppose you do not drink alcohol or want to consume less at the moment. But a whiskey glass and a fat girls ass are home sweet home to me. May our hearts remain as cool as this champagne. -Maurice Chevalier, Related: Funny and Clever Acronyms to Make You Laugh. Weve assembled a hilarious list of drinking humor to get a laugh or a smile out of the toughest audience. We know it is true that were wicked, That our criminal laws are lax; But heres to punishment for the man Who invented the income tax. Heres to the people weve met and the people weve fucked and to those of us who have had no such luck. May our children be blessed with rich parents! I improve with wine. If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and drink myself up. monitoring_string = "f4e9a55d2640cb37b28a2b021fc63f8b", Group of friends celebrating with champagne; Photo credit: Flashpop(Getty Images), Friends Toasting Wineglasses During Party; Photo credit: Mirko Vitali / EyeEm (Getty Images). And vodka makes you not remember any of that crap. May the hinges of our friendship never grow rusty. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. 6. Heres to marriage. When we drink to the usual, we In contrast, others jump right into stating what or who they are toasting to. #7. And may all your friends remember all the favors you are owed. Wishing you more happiness than all my words can tellnot just for tonight, but all the year as well. May God bless old Ireland, thats this Irishmans toast. May poverty always be a days march away. Happy birthday! There is nothing like sarcastic, goofy toasts. I drank to your health in company. Heres to the heat. If it doesnt look like its breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth. When you get to It, and cant do It; Come see me, because Im used to It! . The 26 Drinking Toasts that everyone will enjoy. See more ideas about drinking toasts, drinking quotes, funny toasts. Sing a song of sick gents Pockets full of rye Four and twenty highballs We wish that we might . Some people like to start with a quote or funny saying. Heres to your good health. May it all be mine. -Sheik, 4. One cant deny that Homer Simpson is for sure a clever guy. 3. Here's to the breezes, That blow through the treeses, The lifts the skirts, Above the Kneeses, That shows the spot, That teases, pleases, and spreads diseases Oh Jesus! Start a bachelor party or any celebration at the bar with this winning poetic but funny toast. May you. May your heart be light and happy. "May our sons have rich fathers and beautiful mothers." 2. May your troubles be less and your blessings be more, and nothing but happiness come through your door. 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