I honestly just remembered there was a scented lotion I used to wear, and I would notice the smell on my clothes even after I washed them. The coworker is *totally* acting like a jerk. The fragrances usually smell pretty to me, but trigger migraines nonetheless. As soon as you have something unprovable that isnt supposed to be questioned, bullies and jerks will latch onto it. Calmly and professionally call out the patronizing person without making a scene or being dramatic by pointedly yet politely saying, "Gee, that comment sounded a bit condescending to me. I once sent an employee of mine home for this. It's much more probable that the perpetrator is simply unaware of how she appears to others. My husband had to calm me down. Many workplaces provide handbooks to their employees that outline policies and rules. The co-worker in this situation is absolutely going about things unprofessionally, but as someone with scent sensitivity, I can sympathize. It still may after a reasonable test end up being something about the OP. Weve had plenty of discussions, especially regarding food, that scents are very personal and while someone may hate one they are completely fine with other strong scents. Dude knew he shouldnt smoke and tried to quit repeatedly, and it is not like he didnt take steps to try to mitigate, but having a coworker complain repeatedly about him was mean. Thats really interesting. OK, thats fine and I can handle that. Or florals or vanilla or whatever. Time. ;). Whats Causing That Salty Taste in Your Mouth? No, I think youre absolutely normal with your dislike of various scents! Perhaps she does as well and is associating them with you? Smelling those faintly on other people is a fact of life; theyre very commonly used products. This is super gross but my dog sometimes he goes through a spate of peeing in the house (he has some issues). Im very self-aware of scents I give off though, so its easy for me to find a substitute. Its Bully 101 to push and push and push until the victim explodes, and then so and so blew up at me for NO REASONoh, poor me. You did the decent thing by switching up your products when she first complained, and if shes still having a reaction to something, she needs to explore other potential sources (asking for your help in a respectful way if needed). Get queasy even smelling it/seeing the bottle. Yep, I worked at a Panda Express for a few months almost 10 years ago. Here's how to tell if one or more of your coworkers are toxic: 1. If its at the point where its only popping up twice over a few months, and your coworker is upset that you keep bringing it up because she feels shes addressed it, it seems like your coworker has done what she can and it would be a good idea not to bring it up with her anymore. I wouldnt wish that on anyone. Possibly the only personal anecdote less interesting than a story about a dream you had, that doesn't involve the listener. Grandboss there actually had a candle burning that was majorly causing issues, and heis version of being accommodating was to ask what candles I burn at homeNone, I have asthma. While I do believe that those people are offering these suggestions in good faith, I also think that this is absolutely the wrong track to take. I wonder if you can narrow it down to a certain article of clothing that really has held onto the smell. In high school I had a job at a chain pizza place. I supervise a manager who falsified an employee write-up but I dont think she should be fired, getting out of shared intern housing, why are so many executives condescending, and more, interviewer fake-rejected me to see if I would fight for the job. Wow. When youre a non smoker, its bad. I HATE floral scents in virtually all forms, but I dont have severe allergies nor do I get migraines. Many cleaning products made me gag or gave me a headache, I couldnt stand the smell of my old shampoo anymore, and I had to go sleep elsewhere the night my husband made cabbage in the crock pot. It dont bother me. It can linger for a really long time and washing with unscented detergent may not do the trick. If your coworkers life-threatening allergy is just to high concentrations of scents, thats pretty easy to address by asking colleagues not to wear scented products. I guess my point is if coworker is smelling something and attributing it to the OP because of past issues, something needs to be done to determine what the source of something is, and I know blindfolds are a weird thing, but it might actually worth it to float as a trial balloon that Look youre smelling something, we agree you are, youre not crazy, but we DONT agree on what something is. B: Acknowledging that something is a bad thing. Happily it stops when I lay-down so sleeping is ok. Also it stops from time to time with out any reasonI try to analyse why but no results. * Diets heavy in certain foods like onions and garlic (yum) may give strong body scents. 2. LPR causes post-nasal drip, a lump in the throat feeling, and can cause . All the more reason to use AAMs scripts to squash the problem. We embarked on a months-long quest to find soaps and laundry soap that he liked and that I could tolerate, but you know hes my significant other! Since the boss is familiar with the situation, its really up to the boss to insist that short of a doctors order, theres nothing to be done. Because burping and sniffing are minor offenses, the employee will likely receive a minor form of discipline, such as verbal warning. Your nose remembers stuff your brain just doesnt and makes huge amounts of connections. But as I would have liked to tell some otherwise lovely people I encountered during my time in Santa Cruz, it is NOT a substitute for a shower. I cant stand it. I also have scent sensitivities (Ive had to ask a coworker to sit further away from me because the smell we never figured out which product it was made me sick to my stomach) and I would totally appreciate everything youve done. I agree with Alisons advice all around, I just had one other scent-source to consider do you perhaps use any home air fresheners or diffusers? Step 5. Its possible were dealing less with a misidentified scent and more with a clumsy insult. Eat something and get sick and your body remembers at a very basic level. She refuses to move. Washing with unscented or mildly-scented bath productsmaybe reasonable, depending sometimes the only shampoo/conditioner that works well for someones hair has an unavoidable scent and I dont think its reasonable to expect someone to figure out an entire new hair routine (which is a process that takes time and money and trial and error, not to mention bad hair days in the interim, with the concomitant hit to self-esteem that may cause) to accommodate a coworker. Thats just how it is. It can be very painful and isolating to have this kind of sensitivity. Its always suggested as this neutral thing, but its extremely toxic, often even to people who arent sensitive. I dont think my colleague is trying to make give me migraines with her perfume. Blech! The friend I was travelling with very kindly loaned me a clean T-short and knickers, which did not end well. But Im not going to stop wearing it on weekends and Im not going to stop burning incense in my home. If I were OP, Id be tempted to say, Patchouli? Oh trust me, I've been trying to get a private office for years. ! I apologized for using my lotion and took it home. Unfortunately, I have a colleague with whom I work quite closely who wears a perfume/scent that Ive become quite sensitive to. Sowhat the OP might consider doing is going to her boss (assuming the boss is reasonable) and saying something like, Ive tried very hard to work with Coworker regarding her scent sensitivity. Still cant eat red velvet after a stomach bug. Taking credit for your ideas. Psychosomatic reactions to various triggers, including scents, are pretty well documented. But so what. Totally agreed, Im fine with not wearing perfume to work, and not using smelly lotions, and I could totally be on board with unscented detergent, but Im not going to change my shampoo or my body wash or stop taking bubble baths when Im outside of work. Something needs to break this association / habit. I get the sense that this issue of sensitivity to smells is very cultural. I think we can all agree that the best outcome would be for OP to shave her head, live in a sterilization chamber, and wear a new sterile smock every day. She would wear scarves over her mouth all day at work and cough and cry about how bad I smelled. I couldnt smell any cinnamon candy for years after. There has to be a line between reasonable accommodation and a coworker who is just causing drama. Ask your manager to move your desk if the faint scent of a lotion used the night before bothers you that much. The common cold is a viral infection that most people recover from in a week to 10. (That obviously wouldnt account for the co-workers still smelling patchouli, but it does mean that unscented isnt, as you say, necessarily a solution.). Its easy for responses that were designed to keep us safe to become a little overreactive. :). On the plus side, I did learn how to ask for anti-histimine cream and tablets in Spanish. Good idea! We rinsed them off and re-used them until they were super gross. Oh well then.if she just doesnt like it, thats just too bad. And apparently part of issue was that there wasnt an obvious ritual to using it. Its a classic case of the cure being worse than the disease. I enjoy wearing perfume, but tend to stick to indie oil scents, since the smell tends to stick closer to my skin (so, in theory, I dont bother my coworkers) and also because I seem to be sensitive to the alcohol that a lot of spray perfumes use. Industrial carpet glue and some wood furniture finishes does it for me. Urp. Blondie batter? Or the chair, if its a fragrance she was wearing for a while before the coworker first complained? Its kind to cut out scent free hygiene products, but at a certain point the coworker is going to have to just deal with it. (I did draw the line when someone started spraying their AquaNet on their hair at their desk, though..). By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. This is whats confusing me about these suggestions too. I work closely with her, so I immediately apologized and washed it off, and havent worn any of my perfume since. It's a little passive aggressive but can't hurt. The employee still kept reporting to HR that I was spritzing perfume in my cubicle and even alleged that I was purposely spritzing her cube while she was away. It seems like you are already doing everything it is reasonable to ask a person to do (and possibly more). People who dont like indie-type perfumes often just categorize them all as patchouli as a catch-all for hippie smells. Also, the day she complained I wasnt even wearing patchouli! Go to a therapist. To me, the onus on coworkers to alter their scent behavior ends at requiring them to change their personal care products. Im not OPs coworker, and obviously OPs coworker isnt pregnant like I am, but for the entire duration of my pregnancy Ive had a slightly stuffed nose. And honey. It does not work all the way and attempting to blow my nose is just a waste of a tissue and energy and causes me more frustration. But Im not going to ask another person to never drink that tea again. Skinless chicken breast with salt and pepper and grilled on a George Forman grill so tastes like bugger all else? Policy. Thats my thought. If the co-worker was a jerk about it I might get dramatic and fling myself to the floor and wail, what more do you want from me? But thats really better left for fantasy, I suppose. It seems pretty clear to me that she was referring to essential oils as a subset of perfume, and when she said she stopped wearing perfume she stopped wearing the oils too. I worked in a lab, and pretty much every chemical we used suddenly smelled like fish, vomit or both to me. If so, you may want to think about speaking with your manager to be relocated, or inquire about permission to use earbuds for a good part of the day. My boss, his boss and my other coworkers agreed that neither of us smelled but the complaints continued. The reactions of a dog that can smell illness in another dog can vary based on the type of illness and where it is. 5 again? Yeah not really. I really wish that my coworker would get sent home too. Best of luck OP and as an aside, I LOVE patchouli. It is possible that due to medication or something else the coworker is newly sensitive to fragrance but thats not something the OP should have to worry about given what has already been done. I think this is a good suggestion, was about to say the same. Youre not the only one that has had that thought. Heh, I actually really hate the smell of Febreeze myself. I do have patchouli-scented perfumes, but nothing like body wash, incense or diffusers. People smell a certain way. LOL I do admit Ive had that urge. Her professional background includes designing curriculum, writing books, coaching business leaders, and speaking and training. Here is my most recent one. So Im pretty inclined to read the comments as coworker being a jerk instead of actually having difficulty working with a smelly coworker. Your co-worker sounds like shes being a bit difficult and imposing unrealistic expectations on the OP. Been out of college over 10 years and still cant drink it at all. Ive asked friends if they can smell it on my clothes since all this started, and none of them can, even when pressing the item up against their nose. Virtually all businesses frown upon annoyances as burping and excessive sniffing, as they're breaches of basic workplace etiquette. Just dont what? From what Ive read, it seems that if this happened to me I would have to spend several hundred dollars replacing every toiletry and all laundering supplies in my home, wash everything I own multiple times and most likely get all coats and heavy fabrics dry cleaned, and even THEN the coworker may still not be happy with my potential scent. All the time. I agree about the patchouli. I have a favorite crock pot recipe that I havent made in 20 years because I got sick the last time I ate it (I am sure it was a virus and had nothing to do with the food, but even thinking about it nauseates me) Oncologists sometimes feed kids maple ice cream before chemo because they would rather their bodies associated the illness with something easily avoided than with the cheerios or scrambled eggs they had for breakfast that day. about. I really can't take it anymore. She is a jerk but she may imagine she smells patchouili because it is so associated with you. There was no mention of this in the letter. OP has been beyond accommodating; this is now a management problem to solve. Thank you! I dont think LW should have to go above and beyond and Feebreeze her office and dryclean her clothes and not take bubble baths on her *own time* and and and and. It seems like some people in an office environment get a pet Thing To Complain About and lose track of either the importance or the existence of the Thing, sometimes both. My MIL uses a very nicely scented oil diffuser in her house (several, actually, its a big place) and whenever my husband visits I can always smell it on him and all his clothes, even after a plane flight. Scent can also be a trigger for good or bad memories. OP has done everything possible to accommodate them. Same here. I do keep it open when not in use, but it gets gross anyway. Brownie batter? Dr. Shane Russell-Jenkins answered. Whatever brand they use has a very off putting smell. Privacy Policy and Affiliate Disclosures, our group member has a fragrance sensitivity - and we're supposed to be hugged to check for any scents, my employees husband wont stop calling me to complain about her evaluation, http://www.emilysstomach.com/2013/06/aversions-to-food-and-why-smells-make.html, should I tell my coworker about our colleagues criminal record, I deeply regret joining my companys leadership program, and more, my company is cutting my overworked teams pay as punishment for mistakes. Q: Someone who sits near me (who I don't work with directly) has the most annoying habits. I keep forgetting I probably need to try it for all those foreclosed houses I enter that simply reek of animal waste. This is why Im scared to take up perfume, for fear of being 80 and having a personal cloud of smell. There can be essential oils, plant derivatives, and masking fragrances in unscented products. And I find even mens deodorants to be strong enough that I can smell it when they walk by. Maybe she got it confused with lemongrass? If you have a colleague who burps or sniffs excessively, the easiest approach is to tell her you find it offensive or unsanitary and, in the case of loud burping, do not consider it humorous. How best to handle a situation like this? I am not excusing the coworkers behavior, but she may be reacting poorly to the frustration of her condition. (Posting this at 12:20 p.m. EDT, so comments before then werent ignoring this; they were just earlier.). When Im exposed to a trigger, I cant think clearly, I get super irritable, and all I want to do is get away. Im guessing no, otherwise the coworker would have an office reputation for being sensitive. Move there. They just arent my preference, but barring a health related consequence of great severity, I would never dream of asking anyone to change their scent of choice. Ill take your share of cheese, please! Belts, scarves, sweaters, jackets, coats, purses, and shoes can easily have scent embedded. Seriously, have you ever had to restock all of your cleaning crap lately? Telling someone they have to drastically alter their *non work life* to accommodate someone that doesnt like a smellhell, even someone with allergies or migrainesisnt cool. Guess what? Coworker is being bratty and mean in a way that suggests she feels helpless (so, bullying but thinks she is the victim), and your suggestions were right on target for that aspect of the situation. I live in DC and its more black women here. Hubby always got compliments from both people who knew what it was and those who didnt.
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